This morning, I stood looking out the door at the clouds in the sky. I thought about all that I’ve gone through this year. The loss, the change. This has been a year of note. I won’t get into details about all that has gone on. That will come in another post.
It occurred to me that sometimes, the only way to move forward is to reinvent ourselves. We find comfort in our old skin. Like wearing old, broken-in shoes. They’re easier, softer, more familiar. Our feet don’t hurt from them at the end of the day, but they’re steps away from falling apart. The little spot worn through the sole is a weakness. A point of vulnerability. Step wrong and that hole lets everything in.
Sometimes, there are things that actively seek out that vulnerability. You often get only one chance to make that change. A close call or a warning.
I had to reinvent myself. Come back from the cave I had exiled myself to. Be something new. This blog has been just one part of that, but an increasingly important part. It’s not easy. Not always pleasant. Especially when I feel like no one is reading. But I get reminders here and there that I’m doing something special. Something that people care about. I feel more alive, more connected, more confident. It will be one month tomorrow since I started. It may seem strange, but I feel like a different person than who I was the day I made my first post.
Back then, I was at base camp. I am now making the climb and there is no turning back. A giant looms before me, but I am something new.
Tomorrow, I begin revising my novel. It’s new ground for me and I couldn’t be more excited. I’ve been itching to start tearing through the pages again for weeks now. I feel like the time is finally right and I can look at it with a clear head and shape it into something special. The next couple of months will be a very busy time.
Thank you all for reading.